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About Me Premium Member Art Student Becca20/Female/United Kingdom Recent Activity Deviant for 1 Year
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Telling People...

Journal Entry: Tue Jul 7, 2009, 6:20 PM



So I am still struggling with the diagnosis. Been extra tough coz I had a fibromyalgia flare up last week so I've not even been able to do much to cheer myself up. I have started telling people now about what the diagnosis is. It's probably harder telling the people I love than it is hearing it for myself. I told my nan today and she cried and my aunt got all upset just before going to my cousin's assembly so I felt terrible. My nan has lived with pain all of her life and I think that's why she cried. Because we've all held such hope that I'll get better for soooo long and now suddenly its over. That hope is gone now and all that's left is to deal with the outcome. Deal with it each day at a time.

I've decided I might not go on to do my MA in art therapy. it seems a bit pointless as I won't be able to work. Im not safe enough to work coz I am too ill so I am on benefits. I won't be able to have the career I wanted. I can't be a full time art therapist, I can't travel and it just is too much hard work for me to be able to handle in my condition. So I might have to go freelance and just rely on my benefit money. :icontsubasa-strange: has been my rock, although I feel bad for him because he shouldn't have to help me as much as he does. Its like I've become dependable on people when inside I'm so independent so I push myself when I shouldn't and make myself worse. But I hate that he has to almost baby sit me. And he says he doesn't care when i tell him this but I still feel shit for it. I hate that I can't seem to even cook dinner at the moment so my thoughts are on the future and they'r riddled with a lack of hope that just last week I still had.

**Sigh** Sorry to be moaning. Just needed to vent. Got to finish this uni work and I am a bit stuck. Would really appreciate any ideas or advice from people. On both these subjects. I just feel so bad that I have to tell people and in doing so they'r crying and upset for me but what am I meant to say or feel? Because yes I am upset but I can't cry anymore, I've got to get on and I don't want pity, I just crave understanding from people. Still not told everyone so the next week or so will still be hard so my art may turn a lil emo so I do apologise. But once its done and over with I can move on, stop sulking and feeling sorry for myself and just get on with it.

B xxx

BTW I just wanted to bring this to your attention coz I think it totally rox! This is by :iconmirrorcradle: And i think its awesome!

Graphics by *aishwaryakhan
CSS by =moonfreak
  • Mood: dA Love
  • Listening to: Blue tatoo
  • Reading: Japan- ref book
  • Watching: Naruto abridged comedy spoof series show
  • Playing: at being a student
  • Eating: nothing
  • Drinking: tea

Devious Info

  • Current Residence: UK
  • deviantWEAR sizing preference: 8-10
  • Interests: ART!!!!
  • Favourite movie: TOO MANY!!! Love Tim Burton\\\'s films. ANIME!!!!!
  • Favourite band or musician: TOO MANY- Within Temptation, Emilie Autumn, Imogen Heap, Tori Amos, Sarah Mc Lachlan
  • Favourite genre of music: rock and alternative
  • Favourite artist: Again TOO MANY!!! Tracie Emins, Victoria Frances, Hockney, Monet, Degas, Laura Mossop
  • Favourite poet or writer: Cate Tiernan, JK Rowling(Sorry but I\\\'m a geekette)
  • Favourite photographer: Paul Ford! lol Angela Kershaw and Christopher Lean
  • Favourite style of art: watercolours and acrylics
  • Favourite game: Final Fantasy- any of them
  • Favourite cartoon character: Love a lot of them- any that are funny really
  • Personal Quote: Beware the tear kissed rose, because it\\\'s poisoned with your love <3
  • Tools of the Trade: PAINT!!! And LOTS of it!!!

deviantID

My alter-ego from the Cat Flat comics. :D

Photo taken by :icontsubasa-strange:
Edited in photobucket by me.

Comments


:iconsparklesplz::iconsparklesplz::iconsparklesplz::iconsparklesplz::iconsparklesplz:
:iconsparklesplz: :bulletpurple::bulletwhite: :bulletblue::bulletwhite::iconpwincessnaveera::bulletwhite::bulletblue: :bulletwhite::bulletpurple: :iconsparklesplz:
:iconsparklesplz: Thank you for the favourite!:iconsparklesplz:
:iconsparklesplz::iconsparklesplz::iconsparklesplz::iconsparklesplz::iconsparklesplz:

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My Portfolio
Katie Franke
Traditional Art Gallery Moderator
You'r welcome. Your thanks was beautiful as always. Stunning vixel emoticon things.

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B xxx


"As long as you live, keep learning how to live."

Seneca, c.4 BC-65AD (Roman dramatist, poet, statesman.)
thank you for the watch!:aww: I appreciate it!

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"I wonder what's in a book while it's closed. I know it's full of letters printed on paper, but [..] something must be happening, because as soon as I open it, there's a whole story with people I don't know yet and all kinds of adventures and battles."
u'r very welcome and its very well deserved. :D

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B xxx


"As long as you live, keep learning how to live."

Seneca, c.4 BC-65AD (Roman dramatist, poet, statesman.)
Hey i'm so sorry about last night, my internet went out. I tried to get back on all night but the actual internet was down. :(

:hug: x

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:cookie: :cookie: :cookie:.... Nyom nyom nyom!
Thanks for the watch! :D
I will reply to the other things now, I pretty much did melt to! :lol:

Thanks again. :hug:

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:cookie: :cookie: :cookie:.... Nyom nyom nyom!
ur welcome :)

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B xxx


"As long as you live, keep learning how to live."

Seneca, c.4 BC-65AD (Roman dramatist, poet, statesman.)
Thank you for the :+fav: kaname sama :hug:

Next drawings :
:star: Aidou Hanabusa 藍堂 英 >>[link]
:star: Zero Kiryu ... 0%
:star:Akatsuki Kain ... 0%

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"Je préfère partager une existence humaine avec vous, qu'affronter tous les ages de ce monde tout seule"
You'r v. v. welcome. It rocks!!! :D :hug:

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B xxx


"As long as you live, keep learning how to live."

Seneca, c.4 BC-65AD (Roman dramatist, poet, statesman.)

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